When you think of the word “aftermath” the first thing that may come to mind is a disaster, such as an earthquake or a hurricane.
Left in the wake of the event are miles of devastation. Houses are splintered apart like matchsticks, boats have been heaved onto land miles from the ocean, and cars are flipped over.
Afterward, the community rebuilds the homes and the debris is cleared away.
Yet, the emotional aftermath still remains years later.
That same process occurs with any traumatic event—be that natural disaster or not. Long after the physical scars heal you often still struggle to emotionally heal from the trauma.
How can you cope?
Go Where You Feel Safe
The first thing you need to cope with the aftermath of a traumatic event is safety. This includes both physical and emotional safety.
When people face a natural disaster, they often need to evacuate to a more physically safe place. That’s because their homes may have been destroyed or deemed uninhabitable.
The same is true for any other traumatic event. You need to feel physically and emotionally safe in order to cope.
Finding safety may mean, for example:
Staying with a friend or loved one
Going to a shelter
Checking into a hotel room
Once you feel physically safe, you can begin to relax your guard and begin to focus on emotional safety. How?
Ensure that you are surrounded by people who are supportive of you and not judgmental. Remember, even if you are physically safe, you can't truly be OK until you are emotionally safe, too.
Talk to Someone You Trust
Talking about what happened is so simple, yet at the same time so very hard. Where to even begin?
Having someone to talk to is incredibly helpful for coping with trauma. Talking about it helps you to start the healing process, letting your mind recover from what happened.
If you don’t discuss the trauma, you end up holding in all of those emotions and feelings. Over time, they can begin to wear you out from the inside.
Of course, you shouldn’t just talk about such a vulnerable topic with anyone. Instead, seek out someone you trust. A trusted confidant will help you feel understood, which is critical during the healing process.
Give Yourself Permission to Cry
Another thing you need to do is give yourself permission to cry, or laugh, or feel whatever emotions come up.
Too often in our society, we push our emotions down, seal them off, and don’t let anyone see them. We are afraid of what will happen when we let those feelings to light. Yet, that is the opposite of what to do!
Rather than shut away those emotions, you need to bring them to surface, giving yourself permission to feel them. It’s another critical step in healing from trauma. Otherwise, if you shut away those emotions, they will come up again in more negative ways—including unhealthy coping methods, which will only cause you more harm.
Connect with Other People
Overall, coping with the aftermath of trauma means connecting with other people versus shutting yourself off from them. Of course, as mentioned above, the type of people you connect with matters. Make sure they are people with whom you feel safe (both physically and emotionally).
This does not necessarily mean attending a therapeutic group, although that can be very helpful. Just regularly socializing with others and participating in daily activities is useful. Even more so, perhaps, as these are opportunities to find normalcy in your life.
For instance, after a natural disaster, there is often an emphasis on making sure children get back to school as soon as possible. That’s because the routine, structure, and socialization of school are important for their recovery. That same idea of structure and routine works for coping with other traumatic events, too.
Obviously, coping with the aftermath of trauma won’t be easy, but it’s not impossible either. With the right support and a willingness to open up and seek help, you too can heal from trauma.